Just listening to Christmas music and crying realizing that my mom is not here to enjoy them with me this year.  We aren’t having thanksgiving at our house thIs year and I am sad about it.  I miss havong my kids who me and it isn’t going to happen.  Katie is with Jessie and Ben isn’t coming by choice.  It makes me so sad I can hardly deal with it.tomorrow I will ask of Sydney can come with us…..I know I should be thankful for what we do have…..I just miss my kids.  Sarah is away and Patrick is pretty into himself so who knows.  Things change all the time….it is just hard.